Do it scared: We’ll do it together
I'm doing it scared, and I'm talking about it. And that scares me, too.
The thing that terrifies me the most right now (other than the many current societal existential terrors) is posting in this newsletter every week.
They say the more you post, the less you’ll care about what other people think of it.
I am not comfortably at that stage yet.
Sometimes when I think about other people reading what I write, my heart rate spikes. My chest feels rigid, and at the same time my stomach feels floppy and agitated.
The thing is - I’ve done a lot of work at recognizing when I feel fear, to allow it to exist, then to let it go, especially when it comes to rumination over what others think of me. I even do meditation every day!
And yet, sometimes when I think about my words floating in the public space, my stomach still turns, and my face squinches up. My words have flown beyond the safety of my laptop, out there for anyone with their many different interpretations to see.
So what’s my point?
We all have things we want to do that terrify us, even if we’ve done the work to be at peace with ourselves. It’s part of being human!
Sometimes we get it done and it takes everything in us to do it. Sometimes we can hardly do it at all and we beat ourselves up for it.
For every person, that feared activity, the one we want desperately to be able to do, takes different forms.
For some it could be talking in meetings. Others, asking for help. Sharing feedback. Receiving feedback. Setting boundaries. Asking for a promotion.
Whatever the thing is that scares you, I just want to say - I see you. I see me in you and I see you in me.
And I celebrate you for being who you are and doing the best you can do.
Even if you are “doing” nothing at all, if you are just thinking about the thing you want to do, that’s a win.
You are working with a brain that is trying to protect you, and you are learning how to get it to shift so you can grow and still feel safe.
When you feel fear, find a way to embrace it. Maybe even thank that fear for looking around corners and trying to keep you safe.
Then, try to shift. When you feel fear, use it as a signal that you have something to learn. The you that you want to be is waiting for you on the other side of that fear.
Experiment with what feels right to you that allows you to meet that fear and move through it.
Roll with whatever response comes your way, knowing you can’t control other people and that’s okay. Do it enough, and you’ll be able to find your way through it.
Showing up is doing the work. Noticing you are having a hard moment is doing the work.
It scares me to make these posts, but I do them because I believe my voice matters.
And in my bravest moments, I am willing to share hard scary thoughts because I know other people have them too.
If it’s hard for you to share your scared thoughts, I’ll share those vulnerable thoughts for you! I can do that!
As I continue to do it, I know my brain will grow and get better at feeling at ease when it comes to making these posts.
In the meantime, I’ll give voice for all the people like me and like you who are doing it scared, and I’ll keep doing it scared, too.
What is one moment where you did it scared? How can that moment be an opportunity for you to grow?
I help people create more balance, fulfillment, and growth in their work and life. Want to explore working together? Let’s connect — leave me a message below or email me directly at afw.coaching@gmail.com.